One of the things that I have found in my relatively few years involved in scientific research is that there are parts that are much more difficult than others. From conception to execution to communication, there are a number of repeatable discrete steps in the research pipeline, and while it varies somewhat, there is definitely a pattern. I know that lab work is tricky, and nobody likes grant writing, but the hardest part for me is coming up with a research question. The way in which you ask the question dictates, to a certain extent, how you approach answering it. Some questions, like “why is math hard” are far too broad and poorly-defined to be operationalized. Others, like “does fire ruin my new phone” are too trivial and mundane to be worthwhile.
A properly-created research question is money in the bank. So, as an act of magnanimity, I am offering up this fruitful research question for free, to be researched by anyone who wants to tackle it. “What is it about having kids that turns people into stupid assholes?“:
Anti-gay parents and religious groups told the standing committee for social policy at Queen’s Park on May 7 that gay-straight alliances (GSAs) “promote the gay lifestyle” and that Bill 13 is tantamount to “slavery.”
More than 20 people spoke against Bill 13, the Liberals’ Accepting Schools Act, during the first of four committee hearings. The committee is also looking at Bill 14, the Progressive Conservative anti-bullying legislation. Education Minister Laurel Broten says the best elements of Bill 14 will be incorporated into Bill 13.
I know some people who are parents. Most of them are perfectly decent people who are entirely sensible and intelligent people. It is certainly unfair of me to draw conclusions about all parents, but for whatever reason whenever I hear a news story that involves ‘parents groups’ or ‘concerned parents’ or ‘parents rights advocates’, I know that I am about to read a story about panicky morons who think that whelping spawn gives them some kind of magical super-powered insight into reality.
This story perhaps takes the cake:
Charles McVety, president of Canada Christian College, was the first to speak and said Bill 13 “embraces a radical sex education agenda” and children will be taught “about oral and anal sex.” “My daughter is a precious little 14-year-old girl. I beg you not to do this to my daughter,” he said. “This bill goes against the Bible. The Bible is a very important document.”
Chuck… buddy. Your daughter’s 14. She knows about oral sex. I’m not saying she’s done it (although who knows?), I’m saying she knows it exists. Also, there’s oral sex in the Bible, along with genocide and daughter-fucking. If you’re really worried about your daughter learning about some warped shit, keep her as far away from the fucking Bible as possible. The only thing that’s “radical” about teaching kids about oral sex is that they’ll learn that getting head is fucking RAD, and she’s going to figure that out whether or not you like it.
Next to mount the soapbox of inanity:
Ekron Malcolm, director at the Institute for Canadian Values, called Bill 13 “a form of slavery” because students will be exposed to positive messages about being gay. “You are forcing your ideas on my family values, my black family values… How dare you take away my right to teach my children my heritage.”
Hey… Ekron. You think that anti-gay assholery is a ‘black family value’? Well, from my black family to yours:
Nobody is telling you that you’re not allowed to raise your kids to be little bigoted pricks like you are. They’re just trying to make sure that schools are safe places for gay kids who won’t have to put up with your little douchebag progeny kicking the shit out of them. For someone whose history likely includes slavery, the fact that you compare ‘not being allowed to bully gay kids’ to goddamn slavery means you deserve another animated .gif:
Also, a retrograde piece of shit like Mr. Malcolm working for a group called ‘The Institute for Canadian Values’ is particularly Orwellian. Most Canadians think you’re a dick, Mr. Ekron, and that your beliefs have very little value.
Here’s my favourite part:
At several points committee members challenged the speakers, asking them to point to any section of the legislation that mentions sex education. “So, the GSA component in the bill is the sex education you’re referring to? When you talk about sex education, you mean the word gay?” NDP MPP Peter Tabuns asked. “Gay means sex?” To this, presenter Jim Kwan, from the Markham Voice website, replied, “Yes.” Liberal MPP Kevin Flynn asked if Kwan had actually read Bill 13. Kwan said he had not [emphasis mine], adding, “GSAs promote the gay lifestyle.”
They hadn’t read the fucking bill! They showed up to protest a bill that they hadn’t bothered to even get a summary of first! Seriously, there’s no faster way to undermine your position (which wasn’t all that strong to begin with) than to get all hot and bothered about sex ed classes when the bill isn’t about sex ed! It’s like the people who protest late-term abortions and are stupefied to learn that more than 90% happen before the second trimester.
Then again, this is a group of people who say shit like this:
“Bill 13 provides too much sexually focused information,” [Kim Galvao] said. “Our children don’t need more sex education. They need less.”
Congratulations Ms. Galvao – you’ve managed to say the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard from a parent ever. Your kids need to be less educated? I feel like just saying that shit out loud should immediately trigger someone from Social Services to be sent to your home to make sure you’re a fit parent.
Luckily, this particularly slice of ‘humanity’ represents a very angry but very small proportion of troublemakers who would rather see gay kids (other people’s of course) disproportionately suicidal than have to explain to their little angels that mommy and daddy live their moral lives in the rapidly shrinking horizon of yesterday.
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