blog | Crommunist

11 It’s a special day for another reason

December 25, 2011
by Crommunist
· blog · personal · religion

I almost forgot to mark this, as anniversaries don’t really mean much to me, but it was December 25th, 2007 when I finally ‘came out’ to myself as an atheist. I had been a de facto atheist for a few years before that, but it was during Christmas mass, seated next to my still-Catholic parents, that I finally turned that corner in my mind and said that, in all likelihood, there were no gods.

I’ve talked about this in greater detail previously.

I still attend Christmas mass with my family – an event that fills me with dread in the weeks leading up to it, and angry nausea for the 90 or so minutes I am actually forced to sit in a church without the option of saying the word “bullshit”. Every time I attend is worse than the last. The latest assault to the sensibility was the new hyper-cultish language in the Catholic service. That, coupled with the homily (“do you allow God to be bigger than yourself? Can you live a God-centred life?”) raised every skeptical hackle I possess – I definitely pulled my David Silverman face more than once:

It is, I suppose, a sign that the skeptical arguments are persuasive – I cannot participate in, or even be present for, a Christian worship service without seeing a brainwashing death cult. It casts an appalling light on the earnestness and gaiety with which young people participate in the readings and hymns; my mind immediately bemoans that fact that this energy and enthusiasm is being wasted in the service of an imaginary friend. Imagine if that hour spent verbally jerking Yahweh off (in the hope of being splashed with a droplet of his divine spunk after we face our own ‘happy ending’), was instead spent by every person in that church doing something nice for a friend or neighbour – what a Christmas that would be!

If there is any similarity between theist paradise and church worship, YahwAlladdha could not devise a better hell for me than sending me to heaven – I can’t help but imagine that this is indeed “a boot stamping on a human face – forever”. Now that I am free of these obligations (my annual Christmas attendance notwithstanding), I revel in and savour my atheism as it has put me securely in the driver’s seat of my own life, free of the cloying spectre of clergical busybodies attempting to insert their cold fingers into every private inch of my thoughts.

I am now the maximum number of days away from having to go back to church that I will be for the whole year. That is a tiding that brings me both comfort and joy. Hoping that this day, and all the ones to come, are merry and bright.

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1 Happy Monkey! Getting in the Xmas spirit

December 25, 2011
by Crommunist
· blog · Uncategorized

Whatever your practice on this most confused of holidays (if it is indeed a holiday for you or just another Sunday), here is a video that will certainly have you donning your… well, just watch the video:

In case anyone was curious – I can’t move like that. Not voluntarily, anyway.

Happy Monkey, everyone!

2 Movie Friday: Last Dictator Standing

December 23, 2011
by Crommunist
· blog · forces of stupid · free speech · funny · movie · news · politics

Long-time Cromrades will know that I have nothing but the deepest respect and affection for Robert “Pigfucker” Mugabe – a man who brings new meaning to the term “horrible African dictator with a prolapsed anus from the time he got fucked by an elephant”. This is a man who has made it a crime to insult him, which of course is like waving a giant red flag in front of a bull, and then letting that bull fuck Robert Mugabe’s prolapsed anus.

I don’t just love him because of his stance on free speech. No, there’s so much more to love: his repeated human rights abuses, his open contempt for international law, his complete mismanagement of his country, the fact that he’s completely destroyed any hope that Zimbabwe will be able to climb its way out of the hole he’s dug for it. My favourite part about him has to be his keen sense of humour though.

You see, there’s nothing that old Pigfucker loves more than a hearty joke at his expense. He was concerned because Nando’s, a chicken restaurant chain, didn’t have the clout required to make the above video a worldwide sensation. Being a keen observer of human foibles, he knew exactly what he needed to do to ensure that people the whole world over could share in this hilarious joke – he banned it:

A South African fast food chain has withdrawn a TV advert which pokes fun at Zimbabwe’s President Robert Mugabe as “the last dictator standing”. Nando’s South Africa said it decided to act after receiving threats to its staff in Zimbabwe from a youth group loyal to Mr Mugabe.

(snip)

Nando’s South Africa decided to axe its commercial after Mugabe loyalists from the Chipangano group had called for a boycott and other unspecified punitive action against the company. “We condemn such adverts because it reduces our president to be someone without values,” Chipangano leader Jimmy Kunaka told the BBC’s Brian Hungwe earlier this week.

Of course, as anyone with half a brain knows, trying to stop people from doing something makes it more tempting. When it’s someone as well-loved as ol’ Pigfucker, it becomes international news! So congratulations, Bob – thanks to your genius intervention, people all over the world can laugh about what a despicable waste of carbon you are.

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17 Because y’all need a prodding from time to time

December 20, 2011
by Crommunist
· blog · Canada · news · racism

When I discuss racism, I devote most of my time to exploring it in its modern context. This usually manifests itself as systemic practices that result in de facto racism (that is, having the same effect as intentional racism), or as subconscious ideas that amount to the same thing as active prejudice. These kinds of commentaries intentionally neglect the kind of violent or hateful acts that we associate with ‘classical’ racism, because I do not wish to become fixated on a phenomenon that is very cognitively available but far less common.

However, from time to time I feel it necessary to remind you (and myself) that this kind of white-hooded cross-burning racism is still alive and well:

Two Lower Mainland men who police say are in a neo-Nazi group are facing assault charges in connection with disturbing attacks on minorities. The B.C. Hate Crime Team announced the charges against Robertson De Chazal, 25, and Shawn MacDonald, 39, at a news conference in Vancouver Friday. The team, a joint RCMP-municipal police unit, conducted reviews of four assault files dating back to 2008 and unearthed new evidence that led to the charges against De Chazal and MacDonald, who police say are linked to an international hate group called Blood and Honour. … Continue Reading

2 Happy Holidays!

December 19, 2011
by Crommunist
· blog · Blogmeta

This post is meant to serve as a ‘heads-up’ for those of you who will be reading between now and the new year. Because I live in Vancouver but my parents do not, the time has come for me to make my annual pilgrimage to the Center of the Universe (Toronto) and see family and friends. During this time I tend to blog less because I am well outside my normal routine. It’s a holiday for me too, which means that I will be relaxing my “one thousand words a day or more” policy. I have a bunch of stuff still on file to talk about, so you can keep checking back from time to time for new stuff.

I will be back to my usual self the first week of January, so fear not.

12 Religion and Science “Peacemakers”? Stupid, stupid man…

December 19, 2011
by Crommunist
· blog · forces of stupid · religion · science

I don’t know who Paul Wallace is, but I know the kind of person he is. He’s the kind of person that makes sure to shave (with a dull straight-razor) minutes before swimming in the shark tank. He’s the kind of person who makes sure to wear his best red cape before running with the bulls. He’s the kind of person who seeks shelter from a lightning storm by climbing the tallest cell phone tower he can find.

In other words, he’s a moron who invites calamity on himself.

What makes me say this? Because Paul Wallace is the kind of man who creates a top-10 list of religious/science “Peacemakers”… and then publishes it on the internet: … Continue Reading

12 Skepticism and faith: architecture vs. sculpture

December 19, 2011
by Crommunist
· blog · critical thinking · crommunism · skepticism

In my younger days I was a voracious reader of fiction. Since then, a combination of school and work have more or less completely robbed me of the inclination to read anything that isn’t grounded in reality (don’t cry for me – I still find lots of ways to have fun), but once upon a time I could truly describe myself as ‘a reader’. One of my favourite series of fantasy novels was the Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind. In retrospect, it’s a bit overwritten and the last three books were pretty terrible, but I loved it in my heyday.

The sixth book of that series, entitled Faith of the Fallen was my favourite. It’s simultaneously an exploration of the primacy of human dignity and the harsh criticism of the debasing effect that religion has on it. It’s also a not-so-thinly-veiled retelling of objectivism, but I tried not to let that get in the way of my enjoyment. Moral lessons aside, a great deal of it is about sculpting because, y’know… why not?

The book’s protagonist, an uber-wizard named Richard, gets kidnapped and, for reasons that are really not relevant to anything important outside the context of the story itself, is forced to be a sculptor whose job it is to make a statue that shows humanity from the point-of-view of their religion – debased and cowering in the face of the almighty. He, of course, creates a masterpiece glorifying the power of the will and the resilience of humanity. In so doing, he changes everyone’s mind about religion and starts a riot (because, y’know… why not?). You should be thinking “Howard Roark” right about now.

13 Not to let the truth get in the way of a good story, but…

December 16, 2011
by Crommunist
· blog · Blogmeta

Twitter isn’t censoring #GodisnotGreat. Gizmodo explains:

Twitter uses an algorithm to determine what’s trending. It’s not human-edited. It famouslyvalues novelty over popularity. That makes it really really hard for trends to stay alive, as they essentially have to keep snowballing in order to keep trending. That’s why it’s called a trend!

A Twitter spokesperson verified that the company still does not censor trends. Even if the trend was really, really offensive (see the #ReasonsToBeatYourGirlfriend trending topic above) the company would not intervene.

So, while your theory is nice, Internet, it’s also wrong. You’re not being censored, you’re just dull.

Not that I don’t enjoy watching my fellow atheists lose their shit, but c’mon folks you’re making us look ridiculous and petty here.

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7 To those praying for Hitchens

December 16, 2011
by Crommunist
· blog · critical thinking

Predictably, the shrieking hordes of self-satisfied ghouls have crawled out of the woodwork and, smirking, announced their great love for the departed Christopher with promises to “pray for him”. I cannot help but be reminded of the Black Knight sequence in Monty Python’s Grail, where despite having his arms and legs chopped off by an expert swordsman, the knight continues to taunt Arthur as the king walks away. Hitchens devoted a portion of his writing (not his entire career, as many falsely claim) to utterly eviscerating not only the efficacy of prayer claims, but the superstitious nonsense and appalling evil that underlies the god claim. To say that you are “praying” for him serves as little more than a bold announcement that, even if you had bothered to read his work, you were too thick to understand it.

A friend of mine wrote this in response:

“Begging mercy and forgiveness from a vindictive, vengeful and tyrannical God who also commands love and worship from his ‘children’ whom he “created sick and commands to be well” is precisely the kind of self-imposed torturous mental bondage from which Christopher Hitchens fought to free humanity.

He is not at peace, for he is not. He requires neither mercy nor forgiveness; such thoughts are for the living, and it is only the living who are comforted by blessings and wishes bestowed on the dead. Christopher Hitchens, the man, the mind, the embodied set of beliefs and desires and feelings and memories, has ceased to be. We are the better for having shared time with him, and (only) through us will his beliefs, desires, feelings, memories, and his works live on.”

As I inexpertly attempted to articulate in the paragraphs accompanying this morning’s video, Hitchens’ legacy is far greater than simply the sum of his writings. This is not to minimize his writings, incidentally, which are a sumptuous treat that can be tasted as much as they can be read. Hitchens was an expert swordsman with his words, flourishing with elaborate descriptions, parrying with excruciatingly-chosen diction, and thrusting with cutting vernacular straight through the heart of whatever woebegotten position was foolish enough to ignite his ire. But his words did not simply defeat his chosen opponents – they were a flag waved proudly above the din of pitched combat, calling forth new and eager legions of burgeoning soldiers of freethought to enter the fray.

Those who snidely crow their intention to “pray” for Hitchens are nothing more than myopic fools, claiming victory as the conquering general retires from the battlefield, but failing to notice the approaching horde of approaching warriors made stronger and bolder by the leadership of the recently absent. Christopher Hitchens’ death is lamentable, to be sure, but like Obi-wan Kenobi, he has become more powerful in death than theists can possibly imagine. I suggest you reserve those prayers for yourself – not that they’ll help, but they might make you feel better as your position gets torn to ribbons by the next wave of anti-theist polemicists.

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h/t Jesse Brydle for the moving words

2 Movie Friday: Hitchens on not staying home

December 16, 2011
by Crommunist
· blog · movie · news

I have made no secret of my great admiration for the writing of Christopher Hitchens. The man was, as far as I’m concerned, the heir to the throne of George Orwell – a man who took the English language and turned it from mere utilitarian utterances to a rapier, wielded with deadly beauty by a master. I learned last night that Mr. Hitchens died, succumbing at last to the esophageal cancer that took his voice, but never his spark.

I never got to meet Mr. Hitchens, but of course his writing spoke to me in ways that made me struggle furiously to achieve just one phrase, one sentence, one moment that could equal what he seemed to produce effortlessly pages at a time. I have just finished reading his memoir, and had to put it down several times because the language was so impressively drawn that I needed respite to take it in.

Written, Christopher Hitchens was an architect. Spoken, he was a concert pianist:

If ever there was a dark time in my ‘soul’ where I despaired of the effort of arguing against the things I hate, where I felt like just giving up and staying home, where the forces of good seem to be irredeemably flagging behind the forces of stupid, I can remember that Hitch faced down death with a sneer, and probably a few well-crafted rejoinders about the fashionableness of scythes.

Mr. Hitchens’ death does not make me sad, except insofar as he will never write again. He has carried the torch of English as a mastercraft for decades. There are thousands more like me ready to pick it up, light it anew, and march inexorably into the darkness he helped us put words to. … Continue Reading

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