I am no great hand at satire. The screenplay I posted this morning was a sort of broad-spectrum attack on a bunch of different pet peeves of mine, but I’m not sure how much of that came across. So I’m writing this guide to explain the joke. If you’d rather not have it ruined for you that way, by all means skip this post. … Continue Reading
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6 The ‘Up Off the Mat’ decoder ring
0 ‘Up Off The Mat’ – a screenplay
The social media world has been buzzing about Macklemore’s ‘Best Rap’ Grammy award and his subsequent self-aggrandizing behaviour immediately in its wake. The responses to criticisms of Macklemore – his win and his behaviour – have been impressive in their banal obviousness. Cries of ‘reverse racism’, the ever-popular refrain went up, Amanda Palmer said something stupid, and the edifice of colour-blind white supremacy trundled on, unfazed by the agonized screams of the PoC crushed in its wake.
With this in mind, I decided to lend my considerable writing talents to the creation of a film that finally, at long last, speaks to the suffering that white folks have to go through in our post-racial hellscape. I present a few choice scenes from a movie I tentatively call ‘Up Off The Mat’
OPENING SCENE:
(Setting: Harlem, New York City, daytime. Camera fades in on front steps of 28th Precinct HQ of NYPD. Music by Elvis Presley plays. MACK ELMORE jogs up front steps to door, gym bag over one shoulder, wearing t-shirt and track pants. Scene shifts to inside, ELMORE walks through police HQ. Most officers (like 80-90%) are black or Latino. They mostly ignore him as he heads toward LIEUTENANT WHITE’s office. Music fades as ELMORE knocks on WHITE’s door.)
CHIEF WHITE: (Looks up from papers) Come in!
MACK ELMORE: (Enters office) Sir?
WHITE: You must be the new guy. What was it? (fumbles with papers, searching for name) Edmore?
ELMORE: Elmore, sir. Mack. … Continue Reading
0 Don’t Let Me Down – Beatles cover w. Faith Numada and Stuart Alves
Vancouver is a city bursting with talented musicians. Two such folks are my friends Stuart and Faith. Stuart you may well recognize as a member of my band Even Handed Odds (formerly CROWN), but he’s also got his own solo stuff going on. He was one of the first people I met here in the city, and we’ve been collaborating ever since. Faith is someone I met through Stu, and is a country-fied singer/songwriter who has penned some really catchy tunes. When I was asked to fill out a showcase at the landmark Railway Club, I was happy to include my two friends on the bill.
At the end of the night, the three of us got together and played this classic Beatles tune:
0 Don’t Stop BeliVIOLA – a Journey cover
In what might be the nerdiest I’ve ever done, I have arranged and recorded another all-viola cover. This time, I took on another classic, “Don’t Stop Believin'” by Journey.
This video also allowed me to address one of my pet peeves about the song: “South Detroit” is Windsor, Ontario. Downtown Detroit is right on the rover, south of which is the border to Canada (it’s weird, I know). So there.
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0 Voice In My Head (music video)
This is a ‘music video’ of sorts that I shot for my song Voice In My Head.
I am reasonably certain that I can cross “film-maker” off of my list of potential side careers. I shot this in my apartment using the webcam from my laptop. I figured it was better than a static image for the full 5 minutes the song plays for.
If there are any of you who possess actual talent at shooting film, I’m definitely interested in having some actual non-terrible videos done.
1 Voice in my Head
When a romantic relationship ends, you don’t go back to being the person you were before the relationship started. That has been my recent experience, anyway. My relationship with my now-ex was a big deal for me, because it was the first one I’d had after 8 years of being single. It was amazing to me how much I needed to learn not only about how to be in a relationship period, but about myself and what kind of person I was.
So I wrote a song about that. Lyrics, as always, are below the fold.
Crommunist 